Hmm..penantian satu penyeksaan...

Firstly nk ckp, den sayang kawan2 ttc den....u know who u are...den sayang korang giler2...den always there for u guys....mengenali korang merupakan satu peristiwa penting dlm kehidupan den...sbb dgn korang ler, den melalui fasa susah senang bersama2..eventho kite sume duk jauh2, tpi kite sume rapat kan...sayaaaang korang and i will always do...

Ingat dulu mase kite mule jumpe kat HA forum...dah brp tahun ek kite kenal...huhu...ade peristiwa kawan2 kite yg dah peknen, pastu dah menyepi..means, kawan ngan kite because of...they just wanna fren yg senasib ngan deme jek...after fasa ttc n dah muncul fasa expecting, memasing dah ikut haluan memasing kan..but, luckily there were still frens yg dah peknen, but still close to us..gave us encouragements and their full support...hope that our frenship will remains 4ever...

Den penah ckp dulu, kalau den dah peknen, den xnak cite kat fb...coz i know what it feels like to read someone's post regarding their pregnancy whatsoever..."arini pi check up, nmpk baby dah besar", or something like this "mengidam makan itu ini"...Wahai kawan2, jagalah hati rakan2 kita..perasaan mereka....kita penah lalui itu sume, and kite tau ape jadik kat diri kita mase tu..meluat, ase rendah diri, ase dengki..sume prasaan mazmumah tu datang...Setan pon hooray suke hati....Ya Allah, kuatkanlah imanku, peliharalah diriku, jadikanlah diriku seorang kawan yg menjaga hati kawan2 di sekelilingnya....

Lagu ni den dedicate especially utk diri sendri and utk kawan2 sume...

Bait lagu yg buatkan air mata ni nk menitis adalah...

"i've been given so much..a husband that i love..so why do i feel incomplete?..every tests and checkups..we're told not to give up..he wonders if it's him..and i wonder if it's me....ALL I WANT IS A FAMILY..LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I SEE..AND I WON'T UNDERSTAND IT..IF IT'S NOT MEANT TO BE"

Sehari dlm ward...

Tanggal 10/11/2011 yg lepas, adalah hari dlm bersejarah dlm hidup den..pertama kali masuk ward...saspek ectopic pregnancy @ query very early pregnancy..citenyer cmni..

Hari tu, den jmpe Dr Pratima, utk show blood test result kat die..then die tgk kat ctu, hcg level den naik, tpi x doubling..trus die wat scan..mula2 scan abdomen, x nmpk (maybe sbb bukan full bladder)..then, die swuh pi PU dlu utk wat vaginal scan plok..tgk2...xde ape pon..klu ikutkan mase tu dah 5 weeks..yg nmpk hanya folikular cyst...Pastu Dr Melati plok dtg, trusler dptkan 2nd opinion..kne scan lagi skali..xde jugak sac....uwaaaaaaaa..ape lagi, kne admit ward ler, sbb takut ectopic, klu ectopic bhya wooooo, klu pecah...

Dlm ward, depan katil den, kes ruptured ectopic pregnancy..huhuhu..die kne emergency laparotomy, utk buang tiub..ade anak sorg dah...pastu nk ke petang, masuk sorg mokcik n sorang akak ni. Makcik ni kes die bleeding x stop2, kne masuk 2 pain darah..akak tu plak, kes peyet lame..x henti2....

Tdo kat ward semalam, x nyenyak langsung...mane tak nyer, setiap 2 jam, kne kejut utk amik BP and suhu....

11/11/2011- Dr Norliza buat ward round...bile sampai turn katil den, die ckp, eh, x perlu admit ward, kes low hcg jek, bleh discharge..nnt isnin appt kat klinik utk repeat scan n tgk result darah hcg yg kali ke3...yahooo..

Trus call asben, mase tu die dah on d way dtg Tloh dah, hehehe..so, die akan amik den jelah..x perlu duk tdo kat ward...kui3...

Arini, 14/11/2011, dgn perasaan berdebar..dah nangis dah kat umah sebelum pi hospital..takutttttttttt..kalau2 scan x nmpk lagi..hukhukhuk

Alhamdulillahhhhh..tdi pi scan, mule2 x nmpk..pastu setelah digodek2 baru tau kat mane die nyorokkkk...aiseyman...buat den tdo x nyenyak jerrrr 3 mlm lepas...(tdo x nyenyak apekebendenyer..asben den ckp den tdo sampai ngigau sepak die)..sorry mimi, istri x pasan..

Lagi sebulan repeat scan, n den kne makan duphaston sebijik sekali sehari utk sapot the pregnancy...

Bile Si Suami jadik Surarumah...

Hmm..cuti raye haji ni, encik hb balik temerloh...semalam kami berkesempatan pegi solat raye kat surau bersama-sama....balik jer, kami 2 org membongkang tdo, selepas pekene laksa penang jiran kami bagi..tq Kak Zan...

Semalam koi spotting, brownish gitu..dah consult ngan kawan, die ckp as long as bukan fresh blood or bright color nyer blood yg kuar accompanied with cramping, no need to worry. Even kawan tu pon sendri brownish spotting sampai ler bby die kuar..gitu plak yer...

Tdi petang, call mak..mintak pandangan mak..mak ckp, xde ape tu..maybe darah2 lame tu...mak ckp kalu risau jumpe doc esok..baik, makkkkk!!!!!..

Pastu tdi search pasai spotting during early pregnancy, mostly diorg ckp normal, selagi x cramping n x kuar darah yang mencurigakan cm fresh blood..oooic..lega sket ase hati ini...

Rumah cni actually, dah mcm tongkang pecah..dek kerana x dicakna oleh ex-housemate dlu..so, bile deme dah kuar, koi nk mengemop bagai xleh plak dgn keadaan cmni..So, encik hubby lah yg membuat segala2nya...Siap pesan sume, jgn kuar dri bilik sbb die mop, nanti takut jatuh..huhuhu..tenkiu, syg..jasamu dikenang...

Salam Aidil Adha...

Esok kita semua yang beragama Islam akan menyambut Aidil Adha...sekejap jek kan masa berlalu...kepada sape2 yang akan menjalankan ibadah korban pada esok hari didoakan agar diterima oleh Allah SWT...Aminnn...

Tahun ni, insyaAllah kami suami isteri beraye di Temerloh jek...esok maybe gi solat sunat kat surau depan umah ni jek...hmm, ni pon tengah tggu kepulangan suami tersayang..arini kerja lagi..huhuhu...

Allahu Akbar..Allahu Akbar...Allahu Akbar..Walillahilhammm....

Lil Bun In The Oven...(after 3 years of TTC)

Allah Knows Best!!!!!!!!Tiada apa yang mustahil baginya.. Kun Fayakun..Alhamdulillah, terima kasih kurniaan ini buat kami..Ulangtahun perkahwinan kami yang ke 3 yang baru sahaja berlalu dan Kau berikan hadiah berharga yang paling kami tunggu2 selama ini..Semoga dipermudahkan segalanya...

27/10/2011 (10dpo)- wat upt, tpi line nmpk x nampak..then ignorekan (but still keep the strip..just in case)

28/10/2011 (11dpo)- our anniversary, repeat again..there's a 2nd line, but mata kne juling sket utk tgk..haishhhhhh (paling kiri)

29/10/2011 (12dpo)- balik kuantan, by noon, repeat lagi test..nampak lagi jelas..hmmm..betoi ke nie

30/10/2011 (13dpo)- balik temerloh, late evening, repeat test, hmmm....(AF expected today)(bawah sekali)

31/10/2011 (14dpo)- x bleh tdo, kul2.30pgi repeat test, lagi ketara...subuh pong test lagi...ade jugakkkkk
                                - told k.wanie, about the test...tpi koi still x caye..ape kene ngan hakuuu ni...(3 strips paling kanan)

01/11/2011 (15dpo)- sent urine to lab..within half an hour, dpt keputusan POSITIP...masyaAllah..yg ni bru koi caye..
                                - told Dr Pratima about it...advised for Beta hcg test, 2 x to see doubling
02/11/2011 (16dpo)- Blood test resulting in 190.73mIU/mL, correlates with 5 weeks pregnancy..gulpppp..supposed to be only 4weeks 2 days

03/11/2011 (17dpo) - Malas wat ape2...Combine sume test..giler banyak test..mujur murah jek..

04/11/2011 (18dpo) - misi menghabiskan test yg ade...
                                 - CB digital...(awal 2010 koi beli-expired dis 2011, cm tau2 jek)

BBT koi.....